A Letter To My Daughters- Tiffany

To My Daughters,

It’s the rainiest of days and you just want to be left alone: to shut the world out and disappear.  

I know…I have been there.

I want you to know that I have weathered the storms too.  When the floodgates burst open and you feel like your drowning- it happens to us ALL at some point in our lives.  

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.

There will come a day when you feel a little less than you should.  When someone has the power to make you feel so small so they can feel bigger and bigger.

It’s so easy to get lost in our problems.  It’s easy to just sit there and “take it.”  You go on living life and letting people say what they want about you because you are too worried of what they will do or say if you have a voice.  This is the part of me I struggle with.  It is something that I recognize but nonetheless it is hard to be someone you are not.  And I wouldn’t say I was STRONG. And, I've realized that I get scared and that’s okay.

I am stronger because I have been weak.

I fear less because I have been afraid.

I can remember back to my elementary school days.  I recall a day that still makes me cringe.  I was riding the bus home from school and a classmate put gum in my hair.  I don’t recall why or what led up to it, but just like it was yesterday, I remember running home crying to my parents.  I didn’t say anything to that girl but instead my parents called her parents and made her come apologize to me.  It was mortifying- for some reason I couldn’t speak. 

This happened on many other occasions throughout my years growing up.  I remember in high school having awful rumors spread about me: walking through the halls and being yelled at and called embarrassing names.  And the words haunted me like a passion.   My lips would quiver, my body shook and I muttered the words in my head. 

I could never get the words out.

I felt so stupid that I just couldn’t stand up for myself.  I was fearful and I let it eat me up inside.  Let me tell you, that is not the way to live!

This feeling of fear, it didn’t go away.  I carried this with me through college and into adulthood.  I allowed people I dated to wrong me and I allowed others around me to hurt me just the same.  At one point, I entered willingly into a relationship that I thought was “love.”  It was bliss and I felt I was right where I should be.  But then, it all went wrong.  Slowly, I allowed someone to bully and hurt me in a way I NEVER imagined I would let anyone. I had reached the height of all my fears and I started to realize something needed to change.

Change doesn’t come easy and it doesn’t come without work.  If you want to live your life for YOU and if you want to really live and be happy, then you need to stand up for yourself. I have learned so much from my experiences and I have even more to learn.  But, even a broken crayon can still color!

When you feel like your whole world is falling apart, just stay positive and know you’ll be okay. 

You are going to want to give up.  DON’T.

Just because one person makes you feel like you are nothing, be confident enough to know that you are enough. That moment I finally stood up for myself was when I started to see a plan in my life.  I now know that it is never too late to be strong.  And when I stood up for myself, I was also imparting a voice to the many other people that are bullied or affected by violence.  And it was the most liberated I have EVER felt.

I leave you with this advice: Don’t give up.  Fight for yourself and who you are.  Fight for others. And remember we can't reverse the wrongs, but we can learn from them and find strength from it. 

You can’t go back. 

So, open up and stand up ALWAYS.  Just be you, and let your inner beauty shine through. 

Love you most,

Mom

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)